a true time of glee

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips.

Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you.

Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm.

Do not swerve to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil."

Proverbs 4:23-27

Lately I've noticed myself watching lots of TV. Most people who know me know that I get addicted to shows; it's typically because of the characters and storyline and my desire to just be caught up in a fake world where I can focus on other people and their problems. But as I've been watching, I've realized I've begun to let my guard down on shows to the point where I make excuses for the crazy things I watch.

 One of my favorite shows is Glee because I am obsessed with musicals, and I also loved how the characters were so unique and the stories were uplifting. But now, the storyline is racy and uncomfortable at times.

Yet I continue to watch it? What am I feeding my brain? I am not guarding my heart; instead I am putting things in my head that are not of God. And until now I haven't even realized it.

I am not saying that anyone who watches Glee is a sinner!! I am simply saying that it can be so easy to not realize the damage the shows we watch might have on us.

And true, there are uplifting storylines about not bullying, having faith, and forgiveness. But most of the time those are overlooked by alcohol, cheating, and more.

But for me it isn't just about the shows that I watch- a large portion is the time I spend (waste) watching TV shows. When I get bored and have an hour to kill, I just turn the TV on. When it's late at night and I don't have anything to study (and sometimes when I do), I get on Hulu and watch some random shows.

I've been praying the past few days that when I have the desire to waste my time with TV, that instead God will give me the desire to open my Bible and read His word for a while. That way I know I will be putting the corrupt and perverse things away from me, and I will be able to keep my focus straight ahead.

And in my opinion there isn't a better way to spend my time.

just need a break

This past week has been one of the craziest weeks ever! Actually the past two months have been crazy busy and it is so hard to believe all that has gone on. Classes, dancing, trips, and so much more have consumed my time. But luckily now it's time to slow down a bit. Wanna know why?

 SPRING BREAK is finally here! I'm filled with mixed emotions because I am not going on a mission trip this spring break; for three of the past four years I was in Mexico spreading the love of Christ. But this year I am at the beach with thriteen of the nuttiest people ever! These girls all love the Lord with all of their heart and I am so so blessed to be able to spend a week with them to get to know them better.

But with this past week being one of the craziest and busiest weeks ever, it was also very confusing. I've been thinking a lot about what direction my life is going in. With planning what to try out for and what classes to take and where to work in the summer, I feel like I am having to make so many plans.

Then I remember one of my favorite quotes: "Wanna make God laugh? Tell Him your plans." And it's so true. I'm spending so much of my time trying to plan my whole life out that I'm forgetting to let God be completely in control of it all. He knows what's best for me, and He most certainly is not going to let me do something that is going to harm me. I need to take a step back and let Him be in control.

So with all of that being said, my long absense from this blog has made me realized its about time for another poem. So enjoy :)

It seems I'm running sideways,

Towards who knows what.

Not for a prize,

I'm just stuck in this rut.

It's not backwards to old problems,

I've learned from my past.

It's left and right and around in circles

And I wonder how long it'll last.

I'm like the waves in the ocean

That try so hard to move

Past the boundaries they are set in

To get out of the groove.

But something holds me here

Not letting me let go

Not letting me move on

To find my brand new show.

I was fine with going sideways

But I'm not so sure now.

Something might come and catch me

and I won't know when or how.

Just know I'm not here

Only for you to please.

I may be stuck going sideways,

but that doesn't mean that you can tease.

So if this is how you want me,

Make sure you don't miss

Now is your chance to tell me

Or give a goodbye kiss.

It seems I'm running sideways,

But I won't always be this way.

Please let me know if I should move on

Or if sideways is how I should stay.